Thursday, June 26, 2008

HAC At The Movies

[Originally published September 1 2006]

Since HAC is now "going Hollywood" in the Book Four excerpts, this introduces a fascinating topic for discussion. Who would you like to see play the characters if we can ever get Mel Gibson to stay drunk long enough to make a movie out of some of Mr. C's novels? No Jewish or openly fag actors except for appropriate parts, please! Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal are disqualified for Buttfuck Mountain and Julia Stiles is disqualified because of O, Wicked, and Save The Last Dance.

My nominations for the cast of A Distant Thunder:

Shane Ryan - Ben Foster
Old Shane Ryan (Narrator) - Patrick McGoohan
Rooney Wingfield - Laura Prepon
Carter Wingfield - Brendan Gleeson
Red Morehouse - John Lithgow
Leon Sorels - Bill Goldberg (the wrestler)
China Wingfield - Amanda Bynes
Ma Wingfield - Kate Jackson
Special Agent Bruce Goldberg - Eric Bogosian
Tank Thompson - Tommy Lee Jones

Suggested cast for A Mighty Fortress:

Cody Brock - Tobey Maguire
Nightshade - Emily Perkins
Kelly Shipman - Kirsten Dunst
Bobby Bells - James Gandolfini
Frank Barrow - Liam Neeson
Farmer Brown - Tom Berenger
Joe Dortmunder - Wayne Knight
Carter Wingfield - Brendan Gleeson
John Morgan - Rufus Sewell
Mitch Newman - Jerry Seinfeld
Secretary of State Stanhope - Michael Caine
Howard Weinbaum - Ron Silver

The casts we could suggest for all our favorite HAC novels are almost endless. Send in your suggestions today. Add them as comments and I will post the better casts on the main blog itself.

Update September 6th

Here's a good cast for AMF from Anonymous:

Cody Brock - Sean Faris
Nightshade - Heather Matarazzo
Kelly Shipman - Hillary Duff
Bobby Bells - Mitch Pileggi
Farmer Brown - J. K. Simmons
Frank Barrow - Hugh Laurie
Red Morehouse - Dennis Quaid
Jane Chenault - Elizabeth Rohm
John Morgan - George Clooney
Carter Wingfield - Kevin Bacon
Mitch Newman - John Turturro
Walter Stanhope - Harrison Ford
Susan Horowitz - Danielle Panabaker

Anonymous adds: "I'm amazed no one's thought of Hugh Laurie yet for Barrow. He's a natural, matches the description in the book perfectly."

That's a big ten-four on Hugh Laurie! Good thinking, Anon!

4 Comments:

At 4:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

God, I'd love to see any HAC book as a movie!

 
At 2:50 AM, Anonymous John Manzione said...

How about a casting for The Brigade?

 
At 5:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dominique Swain as Kelly, I think, and Mel Gibson as Barrow. Joseph Gordon Levitt would have been a good Cody, but I think he really IS a Jew.

 
At 7:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Laura Prepon looks like Rooney, but hate to tell ya... she's a kike! Russian Jewish ancestry.

 

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