Friday, September 01, 2006

HAC At The Movies

Since HAC is now "going Hollywood" in the Book Four excerpts, this introduces a fascinating topic for discussion. Who would you like to see play the characters if we can ever get Mel Gibson to stay drunk long enough to make a movie out of some of Mr. C's novels? No Jewish or openly fag actors except for appropriate parts, please! Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal are disqualified for Buttfuck Mountain and Julia Stiles is disqualified because of O, Wicked, and Save The Last Dance.

My nominations for the cast of A Distant Thunder:

Shane Ryan - Ben Foster
Old Shane Ryan (Narrator) - Patrick McGoohan
Rooney Wingfield - Laura Prepon
Carter Wingfield - Brendan Gleeson
Red Morehouse - John Lithgow
Leon Sorels - Bill Goldberg (the wrestler)
China Wingfield - Amanda Bynes
Ma Wingfield - Kate Jackson
Special Agent Bruce Goldberg - Eric Bogosian
Tank Thompson - Tommy Lee Jones

Suggested cast For A Mighty Fortress:

Cody Brock - Tobey Maguire
Nightshade - Emily Perkins
Kelly Shipman - Kirsten Dunst
Bobby Bells - James Gandolfini
Frank Barrow - Liam Neeson
Farmer Brown - Tom Berenger
Joe Dortmunder - Wayne Knight
Carter Wingfield - Brendan Gleeson
John Morgan - Rufus Sewell
Mitch Newman - Jerry Seinfeld
Secretary of State Stanhope - Michael Caine
Howard Weinbaum - Ron Silver

The casts we could suggest for all our favorite HAC novels are almost endless. Send in your suggestions today. Add them as comments and I will post the better casts on the main blog itself.

Update September 6th

Here's a good cast for AMF from Anonymous:

Cody Brock - Sean Faris
Nightshade - Heather Matarazzo
Kelly Shipman - Hillary Duff
Bobby Bells - Mitch Pileggi
Farmer Brown - J. K. Simmons
Frank Barrow - Hugh Laurie
Red Morehouse - Dennis Quaid
Jane Chenault - Elizabeth Rohm
John Morgan - George Clooney
Carter Wingfield - Kevin Bacon
Mitch Newman - John Turturro
Walter Stanhope - Harrison Ford
Susan Horowitz - Danielle Panabaker

Anonymous adds: "I'm amazed no one's thought of Hugh Laurie yet for Barrow. He's a natural, matches the description in the book perfectly."

That's a big ten-four on Hugh Laurie! Good thinking, Anon!

12 Comments:

At 12:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For A Mighty Fortress:

Cody Brock - Joshua Jackson
Nightshade - Rachel Leigh Cook
Kelly Shipman - Erika Christensen
Bobby Bells - Dennis Farina
Frank Barrow - Ed Begley, Jr.
John Morgan - Fred Ward
Carter Wingfield - Kevin Spacey
Mitch Newman - Adam Sandler

 
At 1:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mighty Fortress

Cody Brock - Justin Timberlake
Nightshade - Lindsay Lohan
Kelly Shipman - Kirsten Dunst
Bobby Bells - Tony Sirico
Farmer Brown - Richard Karn
Mitch Newman - Eric Bogosian
Frank Barrow - Willem Dafoe
John Morgan - Tommy Lee Jones
Howard Weinbaum - Michael Lerner
Susan Horowitz - Anne Hathaway

And what's wrong with Lindsay Lohan? She's a great actress!

 
At 11:46 AM, Blogger Jack Torrance said...

I agree that the overwhelming majority of Hollywood actors are left-wing scum, but let's face it: the last decent movie that came out of Hollywood was Birth of a Nation and D. W. Griffith is long dead.

Folks, this is a fantasy exercise. We all know that no producer or director in Hollywood would ever touch any Covington novel, so it's not as if any imagination we give rein to here will ever come about. But it is kind of nice to imagine a world in which white authors and white moviegoers get equable treatment, even if only for a short time on the internet.

Yes, this is all a game, but it can be kind of a fun game, so lighten up and enjoy!

 
At 5:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Proposed cast for A Mighty Fortress

Cody Brock - Sean Faris
Nightshade - Heather Matarazzo
Kelly Shipman - Hillary Duff
Bobby Bells - Mitch Pileggi
Farmer Brown - J. K. Simmons
Frank Barrow - Hugh Laurie
Red Morehouse - Dennis Quaid
Jane Chenault - Elizabeth Rohm
John Morgan - George Clooney
Carter Wingfield - Kevin Bacon
Mitch Newman - John Turturro
Walter Stanhope - Harrison Ford
Susan Horowitz - Danielle Panabaker

I'm amazed no one's thought of Hugh Laurie yet for Barrow. He's a natural, matches the description in the book perfectly.

 
At 1:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cast for FIRE AND RAIN:

Matt Redmond - Bill Pullman
Heather Lindstrom - Kim Basinger
Tori Lindstrom - Hillary Duff
SBI Director Hightower - Pat Hingle
Mary Jane Mears - Christina Ricci
Paul Lieberman - Ron Silver
Chuck Bennett - Michael Ironside
The CIA Hit Man - Joe Pesci
Michelle Redmond - Minnie Driver
Major Rozanov - Gary Oldman

I don't care about the rest of the characters.

 
At 4:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can I remind everyone of how The Master himself cast one of his own books, i.e. Slow Coming Dark?

Matt Redmond - Tommy Lee Jones
Heather Redmond - Kyra Sedgwick
Tori Redmond - Jennifer Anniston
Tony - Leonardo Di Caprio
John Visconti - Costas Mandylor
Alice Silverman - Kirsten Dunst
Bob Blanchette - John Lithgow
Luther Lambert - The Undertaker
Karen - Kristen Johnston
Andrea Weinmann - Gina Gershon
Phil Hightower - Charlton Heston
Dom the Butcher - F. Murray Abraham

 
At 4:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For Slow Coming Dark:

Matt Redmond - Bill Pullman
Heather Redmond - Bridget Fonda
Tori Redmond - Andi Eystad
John Visconti - Joe Mantegna
Tony Stop - Ashton Kutcher
Dom the Butcher - William DeMeo
Andrea Weinmann - Courtney Cox
"Cowboy" Garza - Fred Ward
Phil Hightower - Wilfred Brambell

 
At 5:07 PM, Blogger Jack Torrance said...

This suggested cast for A Mighty Fortress came in via private e-mail, so I'm posting it myself.

Cody Brock - Frankie Muniz
Nightshade - Lynsey Bartilson
Kelly Shipman - Andi Eystad
Bobby Bells - James Gandolfini
Frank Barrow - Donal Logue
Red Morehouse - Kurtwood Smith
Mitch Newman - Billy Crystal
Carter Wingfield - Kevin Bacon
Nigel Moore - Josh Hartnett
Jane Chenault - Bonnie Hunt
John Morgan - Ian McShane
Howard Weinbaum - Michael Lerner
Susan Horowitz - Tiffany Shepnis

 
At 3:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to admit, I always had a thing for Fire and Rain, the first of Harold's books I ever read. Here's my idea of an ideal cast:

Matt Redmond - Patrick Swayze
Heather Redmond - Bonnie Hunt
Tori Redmond - Tatiana Maslany
Major Rozanov - Christian Slater
Paul Lieberman - Tim Roth
Mary Jane - Amanda Bynes
Chuck Bennett - George Dzundza
Michelle - Madeleine Stowe
The CIA Hit Man - Chris Imperioli

 
At 1:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For Mighty Fortress:

Cody Brock - Dean Collins III
Nightshade - Lindsay Lohan*
Kelly Shipman - Katija Pevec
Bobby Bells - Paul Sorvino
Frank Barrow - Sean Bean
John Morgan - Billy Bob Thornton
Jane Chenault - Teresa Russell
Nigel Moore - Christopher Masterson
Mitch Newman - Billy Crystal*
Walter Stanhope - Martin Sheen

*I really do think Lindsay Lohan can act if she'll just quit slutting around until the wee hours and get her shit together and show up for morning call on time and not hung over.

*Newman HAS TO BE Billy Crystal so I can see him get strangled.

 
At 1:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Could someone please ask HAC himself who he would like to see cast in his books if they are ever made into movies? Also, could they ask him who he would cast in "The Brigade Excerpts?"

 
At 1:18 PM, Blogger Jack Torrance said...

Sean, you can ask him yourself. Contact HAC at harold_covington@hotmail.com

Jack

 

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