Monday, August 11, 2008

Movie Cast For The Brigade

Right, we've been "casting" some of the Master's other books. After much cogitation, here's my ideal cast for the movie version of The Brigade:

Zack Hatfield: Viggo Mortenson
Lennart Ekstrom: Fred Thompson
Charlie Washburn: Fred Ward
Cat Lockhart: Mark Wahlberg
Christina Ekstrom: Dominique Swain
Kicky McGee: Brittany Murphy

Jimmy Wingo: Billy Ray Cyrus
Billy Jackson: Ben Foster
Wayne Hill: Topher Grace
Annette Ridgeway: Tara Reid
Jamal Jarvis: That nigger from "Law and Order"
Lainie Martinez: Salma Hayek
Ted Lear: Bill Pullman
Julia Lear: Jennifer Aniston
Erica Collingwood: Erika Christensen
Charlie Randall: Jason Stratham
Barry Brewer: Jeremy Renner

How am I doing?

-Jack

[2009 response to comment on this post: no, Mark Wahlberg is not a Jew. He is a former bricklayer who actually did prison time for hatecrime for assaulting two gooks and who periodically has to deny to the Hollywood establishment that he is a racist.]


3 Comments:

At 12:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The nigger's name is Jesse Martin

 
At 6:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why would you cast Jews? Renner, Wahlberg and Hayek are all Jews- may be others as well. We just don't GET it, do we?

 
At 8:07 PM, Blogger Jack Torrance said...

Again, I checked Wahlberg out, and no, he is not a Jew. Salma Hayek is not White, granted, but then Lainie Martinez is not a White role. She is a Hispanic of Arab descent, believe it or not. Jeremy Renner, maybe, but then this isn't real casting, it's fantasy. None of these movies are ever going to actually be made. Lighten up and have a little fun.

 

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